Tips and Suggestions for Coping with Grief and Loss during the Holidays

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As the holiday season approaches, it can feel like everyone around us is celebrating and having fun.  However, for many of us, this time of year is very difficult, and heightens our feelings of loss and grief.

Holidays can be challenging for all of us who’ve lost loved ones, whether the loss was recent, or many years ago.

Here are some suggestions and tips to help you get through the holiday season:

If your loved one has a grave site or memorial now is a good time to visit

  • Select a day and time that feels meaningful:  It could be a quiet moment on a weekday, or a special occasion such as Thanksgiving. Choose a time to visit that is right for you. Most memorial parks are open 365 days a year, typically from early morning until sunset.
  • Decorate and tend to the site: You might choose holiday-themed decor such as a small Christmas wreath, a Hanukkah menorah, or a Kwanzaa kinara.  Flowers are always appropriate, and make your loved one’s memorial look festive and beautiful.
  • Bring favorite objects that remind you of your loved one: Many people find personal mementos such as letters or photos help them connect with their loved one’s spirit during the visit. 
  • Spend time by the grave to reflect:  This could mean simply pausing to think about the life you had together.  For others it means sharing stories with the departed, or even singing to them.
  • Pray:  For people of many faiths and cultural traditions, prayer plays an important role when visiting a grave site or memorial.  Prayer rituals can be undertaken alone, with friends and family, or with faith leaders.  
  • Share poems, letters and readings:  Some people choose to recite their favorite holiday poems or stories.  Personal letters can also be a great way to express your emotions.

Light a candle

  • Symbolize love:  Throughout the world, across many cultures, lighting a candle is seen as a very powerful way to symbolize love and pay respects to the departed.
  • Choose a meaningful place:  You can light a candle in your own home, at a shrine, at a memorial service or other special place.

Share memories of your loved ones

  • Speak up:  Don’t be afraid to talk about your loved ones at family gatherings or with friends.  
  • Share stories and anecdotes:  Grieving people often find it comforting to reminisce about the good times and laugh about things they found enjoyable.  It reminds us of the good times we had with our loved ones and helps keep their spirit alive. 
  • Post on social media:  Some people choose to post personal messages or photos in their loved one’s honor.  If it feels right to you, go ahead.  Social media can be a great way to invite others to share their own memories with you.

Donate to Charity

  • Make a difference:  Donating to a charity that was dear to your loved one helps continue their legacy in a meaningful way by making a positive impact in the world today.

Volunteer

  • Give back:  Volunteering your time to a cause that your loved one was passionate about helps provide a sense of purpose and connection with others.  There’s the added benefit that by helping others you will lift your own spirits and mood as well.

Remember to Take care of Yourself

  • Put on your own oxygen mask first:  Whichever approach you take, don’t forget to take care of yourself during the holidays.  These weeks can be an emotional time, and this season provokes painful memories for many of us.  
  • Make time for activities that bring you joy:  Even if happiness is fleeting, it still counts.  This could mean making time for hobbies, meeting friends, spending time with family or being in nature.  Prioritize the things you enjoy and don’t feel guilty for doing that.  
  • Get support:  Your loved ones would want you to take care of your own well-being.  Remember, it’s OK to seek support from your family, friends and mental health professionals.  Asking for help is a sign of strength.
  • If you are in crisis, seek immediate help:  Don’t hesitate if everything feels too much.  Many organizations and professionals exist that can help you.  A good place to start is here: 988 Lifeline

It’s natural to feel sad and miss our loved ones at any time, and the holidays are no different.  By remembering people who are no longer with us during this holiday season we can create meaningful experiences and find peace while honoring their memory. 

A Network of Care

At Bayer Cemetery Brokers,  we understand the importance of preserving the memory of loved ones. For over 25 years we have helped families in Southern California and beyond find the perfect resting place for their loved ones at the most cost-effective price.

If you’re interested in purchasing cemetery property, or if you have a burial plot you no longer need, we are here to help:  Contact us here